When Men Were Men ...

12 Posts Today: 5 Injury updates, 6 article's including this week's guest writer, and some fun fun stuff ...  /  Have a Wonderful Wednesday!!!

Until next time, so long everybody ...

Lee [ Cowboy ]


                                                      When Men Were Men   by   Sweet Lou


When Men Were Men and Admiration was a Paycheck
There was a time in professional sports that money wasn’t the single driving force behind a man’s decision to play the game, or not. Sure, professional athletes have always been compensated higher than the average Joe, but things like passion, heart, desire, drive, will, pride, fame, perception, commitment, and love of the game used to mean more and weigh heavily in the equation of sport. Today the investment is just too great with players, managers, teams, and owners making decisions about going to work each day based on risk for the future and minimal importance of regular season games. Now, I’m not a “tough guy” by any stretch, but I play hurt in my work world everyday and my upbringing instilled in me a work ethic I’m proud of. Many of my childhood sports heroes defined me and were defined by this same work ethic and mentality. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of current examples of tough players who play through injury every day. But when I set my fantasy baseball lineups each weekday, I laugh in frustration at many of the things players miss time for.
The days of “Set it and forget it” fantasy lineups are long, long gone. It’s impossible to draft a Cal Ripken, Steve Garvey, Dale Murphy, consecutive games played type in today’s MLB. But you can pick up a few Miguel Tejada, Adrian Gonzalez, Mo Rivera, and/or Ichiro types along the way, who almost fit the “Iron Man” moniker. I’ll take you back to April 14th of this season when setting my fantasy lineup that day. I believe I tweeted @SweetLou00, “And so it Begins” referring to David Freese. As of April 10th Freese had picked up right where he left off in the World Series, hitting .444, 12/27 with 4 HR and 10 RBI to start the year. But we all knew he wouldn’t stay in the lineup long enough to make it last. The other shoe dropped four days later, scratched from the Saturday lineup with “Finger Irritation?” Now I’m not a doctor (but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last nightJ). I say again, “Finger Irritation?” Cal Ripken is vomiting somewhere over Lou Gehrig turning in his grave! It was just the beginning of my tirade that day as Brett Gardner had the flu, Justin Upton jammed a thumb, and Mitch Moreland had a dentist appointment for an abscessed tooth. What do the kids say today, OMG!
Hopefully this clears up my disdain for the favorite cliché used by fantasy baseball experts early in the year “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” It’s more like a Biggest Loser challenge with those folks trying to finish a marathon in their condition, bless their hearts. Give me Jack Youngblood who played 3 games of the 1979 playoffs with a broken leg. He knew it was broken, told the trainers to tape it up, then went back in and recorded a sack in the second half. They made him a brace and he played in the NFC Title game and Super Bowl, which they lost to the Steelers. It wasn’t about money, ok maybe a little bit; but it was more about who Jack Youngblood was as a person and the commitment he made to himself, his teammates, and the fans. Hell, he played the following week in the Pro Bowl, that was about money J Give me Ali fighting Frazier with a broken jaw or Meldrick Taylor getting two pints of blood pumped from his stomach after a war with Julio Caesar Chavez. Tell Mayweather and Pacquiao they should be embarrassed to represent their sport. Give me Ronnie Lott’s pinky amputation, Willis Reed’s torn thigh muscle, and Kirk Gibson hobbling to the plate in 1988. I’ll take Curt Schilling’s bloody sock; you can have the guaranteed contracts, prima donna players, and all the “Finger Irritation” you can stomach.
“Sweet Lou” Johnson is a Passionate Sports Enthusiast, West Coast Homer, Amateur Fantasy Sports Advisor, and Seattle Sports Advocate. Unfortunately his life has been invested in the success and more common failure of sports in the great Northwest, including the Seattle Seahawks, Seattle Mariners and Washington Huskies. He actively participates in the effort to bring the NBA and NHL back to Seattle. You can contact or follow Lou at SweetLou33@comcast.net, @ SweetLou00 on Twitter, or Indecision Fantasy Sports on Facebook.
Just for fun, here’s a list of embarrassing baseball injuries resulting in missed time and/or DL stints.
Ryan Dempster – In his haste to celebrate a Cubs victory in 2009, Dempster tried to jump the dugout railing on his way to field. Falling awkwardly, he fractured his big toe, landing on the DL for a month.
Milton Bradley – MLB Umpire Mike Winters allegedly berated Milton Bradley with a profanity laced tirade in 2007 causing Milton to go after him. First year Padres Manager Bud Black, attempting to keep Bradley from suspension, grabbed him from behind and spun him to the ground, resulting in a torn ACL for Bradley ending his season. Bud Black apparently has a career as a bouncer waiting after baseball.
Joel Zumaya – He was dominant during the 2006 season with a 1.94 era and 97 strikeouts in 83 innings. Unfortunately, Joel was forced to miss the 2006 ALCS with soreness and inflammation in his throwing wrist and forearm. This is a typical injury from pitching right? Uh, try playing too much guitar hero on Play Station 2. They asked him to stop playing and he was able to contribute in the World Series loss to the Cardinals. On the Xbox 360 version of Guitar Hero II, the credits read: No pitchers were harmed in the making of this game, except for one. Joel Zumaya, he had it coming.
Brandon Inge – Placed on the 15 day DL in 2008 after straining an oblique adjusting a pillow for his son?
Clint Barmes – As a rookie in 2005, Barmes and fellow rookie Brad Hawpe were hosted by Todd Helton at his ranch in Greeley, CO for a little ATV ride and dinner. Soon after, Barmes landed on the DL with a broken collar bone which he claimed happened when carrying groceries up the stairs to his apartment. The alleged true story came out later when Helton explained that he had served the two rookies venison for dinner that night and had given some frozen deer meat to Barmes to take home. Barmes explained that he had fallen climbing the stairs with the deer meat not groceries but had not wanted to involve Todd in the incident. My money is on an ATV injury that would have violated a clause in his contract.
Tom Glavine – In 1992 while on a Braves team flight, Glavine broke a rib vomiting up the in-flight meal.
Hunter Pence – While enjoying some Jacuzzi time with a friend in early 2008, Pence hopped out of the tub to use the bathroom but forgot the sliding glass door to the house was closed. The glass door was so clean he thought it was open and proceeded to barrel right through it, shattering the glass. Pence sustained multiple cuts on his hands and knees from the incident and missed a week of spring training.
Brent Mayne – Landed on the DL for a month in 2002 with a strained back and repeated back spasms sustained in a traffic incident…..while looking both ways before crossing the street.
Kendry Morales – 2010 had more than its share of freak leg injuries beginning in May with a Morales Walk-Off Grand Slam against the Mariners. He sustained a fractured tibia when jumping on home plate in celebration with his teammates and would miss 22 months before returning to the lineup in 2012.
Chris Coghlan – After a Wes Helms walk off hit to beat the Braves in 2010, Coghlan interrupted Helms’ post game interview by jumping at him from behind with a cream pie to the face. Coghlan ended up with a torn meniscus in his left knee and season ending surgery.
Ricky Nolasco – To continue the bizarre 2010 injuries for the Marlin’s, Coghlan's teammate sustained the same knee injury in September that year, changing his shoes in the clubhouse.
Jeff Kent – Pinocchio, the 2000 NL MVP, broke his wrist in March of 2002 and concocted the infamous story “I was washing my truck when I slipped.” Just another pro athlete who can’t stay away from the motorcycles then tries covering it up to avoid violating the terms of his contract.
Denny McLain – Stories change and embellish over the years including Denny McLain who allegedly went to sleep perfectly healthy one night in 1967 and woke up with 4 dislocated toes. In 1967 it was reported that McLane was watching TV, heard a noise outside that startled him and jumped up off the couch, turning his ankle and dislocating 2 toes in the process. The version I choose to believe is the one involving mobsters McLane owed money to who stomped on his foot and broke his toes as punishment. McLane missed several starts at the end of the 1967 season and many felt this cost Detroit the pennant.
Clarence Blethen – Pitching for the Red Sox in 1923, Blethen reached base in a game the one and only time of his big league career. While running the bases in practice he would remove his false teeth and put them in his back pocket. On this particular day he did the same. When sliding into second base the teeth took such a bite out of his backside he was removed from the game with excessive bleeding. Now I’ve heard some fish stories but this one is about as farfetched as it gets.
Chuck Finley – If you’re a nice guy who would never raise a hand to any woman, this is always a no win situation. If she attacks you, you can’t hit back or you’re a wife beater. If you leave to avoid the issue then you’re a coward who ran from his wife. If you stand there and take it then you got your butt kicked by a girl. In April of 2002, Finley joined the likes of Abraham Lincoln, Bill Clinton, Humphrey Bogart, Al Green, Stephen Hawking, Bobby Brown, Christian Slater, Ron Artest, Lionel Richie, and Joe Elliott who have all reportedly been in physically abusive relationships where they were on the receiving end. That sweet little Tawny Kitaen sprawled on the hood of a Jaguar in the Whitesnake video, went postal on Chuck with the heel of her shoe outside a Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse in Irvine, CA. Finley missed his start that night for the Cleveland Indians and filed for divorce 3 days later.
Kevin Mitchell – Catching fly balls barehanded on the run in left field followed by a 500ft bomb is how I prefer to remember Kevin Mitchell. But, as a Fantasy Baseball owner I was pissed when he missed time with strained rib cage muscles from vomiting and no less angry when he broke his tooth biting into a frozen microwavable donut, resulting in a root canal and more games missed.
Rickey Henderson – I could write a book on Rickey, including a chapter about my own stint managing a Chevron Station in Gorman, CA where I had a number of personal encounters with the greatest leadoff hitter of all time. Rickey regularly used my station as his watering hole when making the drive between SoCal and NoCal on I-5 between his Angels home and his Oakland home. He always made me laugh with his negotiating a free tank of gas in exchange for an autograph. I threw my employee discount his way a few times in exchange for said autograph but he was always asking for more. Rickey is on this list for a strange injury where he missed 3 games due to frostbite. Allegedly he fell asleep with an ice pack on his foot and woke up with frostbite. Not his funniest but one to anger fantasy owners for sure. Aside from Rickey framing his first $1M bonus check without cashing it first, my favorite Rickey was probably when he broke Ty Cobb’s record for most career runs scored with a HR, sliding into home plate to celebrate.
Ricky Bones – Speaking of Ricky’s, Bones once tore a muscle in his hand using the clubhouse TV remote?
Jeff Juden – In 1994, Juden missed his first start due to an infected tattoo he inked prior to opening day?
John Smoltz – Now for the injuries involving irons…in 1990 Smoltz allegedly burned himself ironing his shirt, while he was wearing it. Smoltz has since refuted the story saying he had the shirt steam cleaned and put it on while it was still hot. Either way, he burned himself in a pretty ridiculous manner.
Brian Anderson – Not to be outdone, in 1998 Anderson burned his face by testing the temperature of the iron in his hotel room with the side of his jaw. He followed this by missing a start with stiffness in his elbow from laying his arm awkwardly across the seat of a taxi while shopping on Rodeo Drive. Seriously
Steve Sparks – People are motivated by different things and in 1994 Steve Sparks was fired up after a motivational speaking seminar hosted by the Milwaukee Brewers. There were men bending iron bars and ripping phone books in half with their bare hands. I think their disclaimer was, “don’t try this at home.” Steve did, and dislocated his shoulder trying to do the phone book trick. He missed all of 1994.
Jimmy Gobble – While playing golf in 2008, Jimmy kicked a cactus and it kicked back. After removing a one inch long cactus needle from his big toe, Gobble didn’t miss any time.
Kazuhiro Sazaki – In 1993 when Dennis Martinez strained a side muscle loading luggage onto the team bus, the trainer referred to it as Samsonitis. While Martinez only missed one start, Kaz Sazaki missed 68 days in 2003 from allegedly breaking two ribs falling on his luggage while carrying them down the stairs. This was the beginning of the end for Kaz and noone believed his story at the time. But Kaz did land an endorsement deal with Samsonite as a result of the incident.
Marty Cordova – You just knew a pretty boy tanning bed debacle had to make the list. While on a road trip to California with the Orioles in 2002, Cordova visited a tanning salon and fell asleep under the heat lamps, cooking his face severely. Marty missed a couple of games under doctor’s orders to stay out of any direct sunlight. Who could blame a good looking young baseball player for trying to regain some color after toiling away in pasty Minnesota, Toronto, Cleveland, and Baltimore for years?
Wade Boggs – In 1986 Boggs was chasing that elusive .400 season and was at .404 on June 6th. Soon after on a road trip to Toronto, Boggs was trying to remove his Cowboy Boots in the hotel room. He lost his balance and fell ribs first into the arm of the couch, bruising them badly. He missed 7 games with the injury and never recovered, finishing the season with a .357 batting average.
Greg Harris – After saving 20 games in 1986, closer Greg Harris ended up on the DL for 3 weeks with elbow inflammation caused by repeatedly flicking sunflower seeds into the stands from the dugout?
David Cone – While trying to pet his Mother-In-Law’s dog during the 1998 season the Jack Russell Terrier bit Cone on his pitching hand, causing him to miss his next start. Either the dog goes or the Mom-In-Law
Ken Griffey Jr. – Sometimes your cup doesn’t fit quite right and the fragile Griffey missed a game in 2000 with a pinched testicle as a result of this cup problem.
Bret Barberie – Hey kids, remember to wash your hands after eating spicy food. Marlins OF Barberie missed a game in 1990 when he rubbed hot sauce from his nachos into his eyes accidentally.

Doc Gooden/Vince Coleman – On his last legs with Mets the proverbial straw broke the camels back in 1993. While recklessly swinging a golf club in the dugout, Coleman hit Doc in the arm and caused him to miss a couple of starts. In addition to his Jackie Robinson quote and lobbing firecrackers into the crowd, Coleman was through. Gooden proceeded to miss his share of starts because of injury and drug abuse.
Vince Coleman – As a rookie in 1985, Coleman set the MLB record with 110 Stolen Bases. Not known as the sharpest tool in the shed, Coleman, while warming up for Game 4 of the NLCS, failed to notice the automatic tarp roller at Busch Stadium had started moving as it began to rain. The machine rolled right over his leg, chipping a bone in his knee, ending his season. The Cards lost the World Series in 6 games.
Glenallen Hill – Arachnophobia is a dangerous thing and Hill has a fear of spiders, strong a death. While with Toronto in 1990, Hill had a dream that he was being chased by a very large eight legged creature. In his haste to escape while sleepwalking, Hill jumped out of bed and fell onto a glass table, suffering cuts, scrapes, bruises, and contusions. He should have just let the spider catch him.
Adam Eaton – I hope it was a good movie as the price was steep. Eaton missed time in 2001 when he wound up in the emergency room after stabbing himself in the stomach trying to open a DVD with a paring knife. In his defense, Monsters Ball came out in 2001. I heard there was a rash of injuries from men hurriedly trying to get to the Halle Berry – Billy Bob sex scene.
Mickey Tettleton – Mickey was known for wearing his shoes too tight and paid the price in 1992 with a trip to the DL for Athletes Foot. Gotta let the barking dogs breathe Mickey.
Carlos Perez – In 1998, this Expos Pitcher broke his nose in a car accident trying to pass the team bus?
Charlie Hough – During his tenure with Texas Rangers, Charlie broke his pinky while pinky shaking?
Steve Foster – Appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Foster found himself on the DL soon after with a shoulder injury, throwing at milk bottles for a segment on the show.
David Foster – This Twins Minor Leaguer was knocked out for the season when a lightning strike, struck him through the phone while he was on a call. “Honey, may God strike me down if I’m lying.”
Chris Brown – I didn’t know you could miss a game with a strained eyelid from sleeping on it wrong?
Mark Smith – Curiosity hurt this Oriole when he put his hand into an A/C unit to see why it didn’t work?
Mariano Rivera – an Iron Man of sorts, the greatest Closer of all time makes this list only because of his two freak injuries. In 2006 Rivera missed some time when he strained his back putting on his cleats in preparation for a game against the Tigers. Detroit scored 2 in the 9th to beat Kyle Farnsworth and the Yankees. Now in 2012, Mo is on the shelf for the year after a torn ACL shagging fly balls during BP.
Cal Ripken Jr. – Prior to the 1996 All Star Game, during a photo shoot, teammate Roberto Hernandez slipped on the platform and struck Ripken on the nose trying to reach out and gain his balance. Though it was bleeding profusely and required popping back into place, Cal played anyway. No question.